Past Catches Up to the Future
by kensi54382
Summary: Kensi was missing for two years. What effects has this had on her? Can anyone help her?
1. Chapter 1

"Kensi, I need you to let me in," Nate said softly as he waited at the door to the base camp's critical care room.

Nate was in Afghanistan, having been asked by Granger to try and get through to Kensi, to try and help her see that she could let herself feel safe again. It had been a long time since Nate, or anyone else for that matter, had seen her, and everyone missed her. The team back in LA and the Marine unit Kensi had been assigned to during the White Ghost operation had been working together non-stop for the last two years, trying to find Kensi after she had gone missing while out with Sabatino one night. No-one knew where she was, especially when Sabatino had returned alone. Granger had spent days interrogating the smug CIA agent, hoping to get something out of him about Kensi's whereabouts, but he hadn't had any luck. Sabatino didn't say a thing, and eventually, Granger had had to give up and let him go.

"I promise not to hurt you," tried Nate.

Kensi finally looked up, tears in her eyes. She wanted to jump up and hug her old friend. She wanted to make him take her home, but she was just too scared. She had had several dreams while being held captive about one of her friends saving her, and this really felt like just another dream to her. She knew she wouldn't be able to keep going if it was.

Nate took a small step into the room and stopped, still giving Kensi the option of letting him near her or kicking him out. It had been this way for the last two days, and each time, Kensi had curled herself up into a ball on her bed until he had left her alone again. He had spoken to her doctor and the nurses, and it seemed like Kensi couldn't tell reality from a dream anymore, but Nate knew he could get through to her, and he wasn't going to give up.

"Kens? Can you at least tell me if you want me gone?" he asked her gently.

Kensi opened her mouth, something that gave Nate hope since she hadn't done that before. No words came out, and she kept trying, so Nate waited her out. He knew he couldn't force her to talk and he knew not to interrupt when someone was finding their voice, or they would stop talking altogether.

"Are you real?" It was barely a whisper, but Nate was ready for it.

"I am."

Kensi nodded, but didn't say anything else.

"The nurses tell me that you don't talk much. They think you're having trouble telling what's real and what isn't." There was no reply, so after a minute, Nate spoke again. "They also said that you seem to have made friends with a nurse. That she's the only one you really talk to. Is that true?"

Kensi looked at Nate again, a little confused. "What nurse?"

"I don't know. Her name is Samantha. Does that ring a bell?"

Kensi frowned, and it was clear she was trying to remember who Samantha was. Slowly, she shook her head, still frowning. "I haven't met anyone named Samantha."

"Are you sure? Maybe you met her while you were sleepy or something?"

"Maybe. I'm not sure."

"Okay. Is there anyone you talk to here? Another patient, maybe?"

"There's Sammy. She's nice, friendly. I like her."

"Is Sammy here still?"

"They moved her yesterday I think. To another part of the camp hospital. Now, I'm the only one here, and it gets lonely."

"Are you sure it was yesterday? No-one has been in here except for you since I've been here."

Kensi shrugged. "It could have been longer. I don't really know. It's hard to keep track of the days in here. There aren't any windows or anything to tell the time."

Nate looked around the room, noticing for the first time how dark and uninviting the place was. He was beginning to see why Kensi kept retreating into her mind, and why she preferred to believe her dreams were real.

"May I sit on the other bed? I'm getting a little tired standing up," said Nate, hoping that he had made progress with her.

"I guess so," whispered Kensi. She pulled herself into a seated position, but drew her legs up to her chest. She wrapped her arms around her legs, making herself smaller on the bed. But she didn't curl up this time, and it gave Nate a good feeling that she was starting to feel a little better about him being there.

Nate gave her a smile once he was seated on the empty bed. "This isn't very comfortable. Is yours better?"

"Not really," said Kensi with a little hint of a smile. "But it's okay. I like it more than the ground."

"Would you like to go for a walk?"

"Where?"

"Just around the base. Maybe we can look for Sammy?"

"That would be nice. I miss Sammy. And I wouldn't mind some fresh air."

Nate nodded. He stood, but didn't dare reach out for her. He wanted her to reach out to him when she felt ready.

"I don't know where to go. I haven't left this room," Kensi told him.

"That's okay. We can go slowly and find our way."

Kensi climbed off the bed, wincing when her feet hit the floor. Nate noticed that they were bruised just like the rest of her body. They were also cut up and red, covered in dry blood. It seemed like the medical staff didn't really clean her up properly, or Kensi didn't let them check her. He didn't say anything though.

"Do you have some socks or slippers to wear?" Nate asked instead.

"Under the bed. And my jacket should be there too." Kensi drew her feet up to allow him some space.

Nate bent down and stuck his head under the bed. He came back up a minute later, holding a jacket that he knew belonged to Kensi and some slippers. He handed them over.

"Thank you." She put the jacket on, which hung from her body like it was three sizes too big, and slipped her feet into the slippers.

"Ready to go?"

Kensi got up, wincing again, and slowly made her way to the door. She grabbed the wall when she reached the door, holding on tightly as she tried to regain her balance.

"Need some help?" Nate called, having stopped a few steps behind.

Kensi almost shook her head, but then she surprised him and said yes. She looked embarrassed as she clung to Nate.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as she began sobbing into his shoulder.

"You don't need to be sorry Kens. You haven't done anything wrong." Nate guided her back to the bed, this time sitting with her while she calmed herself down.

"I just want to go home," she wailed. "Please?"


	2. Chapter 2

Nate pulled Kensi into a soft hug, aware that she still hadn't healed fully. "I can take you home, but only if you're absolutely sure."

"Take me home. I want to go home. I want my mum and I want my Deeks," whimpered Kensi after a moment.

Nate heard the 'my' she had put in front of Deeks' name, but he let it go at that moment. He knew Kensi had said it without realising, and he didn't want to embarrass her, but he knew it had to be addressed eventually, so he stored it away for a later time. At that moment, Kensi needed comfort. She needed to get far away from this country.

"Okay. Let's go home then."

"Now?"

"Right now. We can be on a plane in an hour."

Kensi let go of him and stood up. "What are you waiting for then?" She dried her eyes and started walking to the door again, this time with a purpose in mind.

Nate grinned as he followed her. Even though it wasn't going to last long, he was seeing the Kensi he knew, the Kensi that had disappeared two years before. "Wait for me Kensi," he called after her.

* * *

Half an hour later, Nate helped Kensi climb into the back of an almost full to capacity C-130 Hercules plane. Several Marines that were inside the plane already moved forward to help Kensi to a seat, making sure to leave a second seat next to her for Nate.

"Thank you," Kensi said to the Marine that helped her.

"No problem ma'am. Happy to help," he answered with a smile. "I'm Tim."

"Kensi." She held her hand out to him shyly.

The Marine gave her another smile as Nate sat next to her.

"We'll be home in sixteen hours Kensi," said Nate as he took hold of the net behind his head.

Kensi nodded. She settled back and closed her eyes, feeling very tired again.

* * *

Back in LA, Deeks was almost pulling out his hair in frustration. He had spoken to Nate almost ten hours ago, and the only news he had gotten was that Kensi remained distant and didn't talk to him. It wasn't easy for him to sit back and let Nate do the work. He wanted to help his princess himself.

"Deeks!" shouted Callen from the top of the stairs.

"What?" mumbled Deeks miserably.

"Get up here. Eric and Nell have a video message from Nate for you."

Deeks reluctantly stood. He had been sitting at Kensi's desk for almost an hour, thinking about how much he couldn't wait for her to be in his arms. "I'm coming."

Callen looked at his friend and felt his heart break. He knew how hard it was to lose someone you loved, he had been through it before himself, and he decided to take pity on Deeks. "It's a good message. About Kensi."

Deeks looked up. "Is she home?"

"Not yet. We haven't watched the video, so I don't know what's on there just yet." He put an arm around Deeks' shoulders, trying to comfort him. "But Nate did text to say the message is a good one."

Deeks sighed. "I hope so. I miss her so much."

After Kensi had gone missing, Deeks had revealed how he felt about her. He hadn't meant to say anything, but it had come out and everyone except for Kensi knew about it. Callen had gotten protective over Kensi after hearing that, but more because he was scared that her heart would be broken again. He knew Deeks would never hurt Kensi, in fact, he tried to always protect her from everything at work, but Kensi was still like a little sister to Callen and nothing would stop him being protective.

* * *

"There you are Deeks. We've been looking all over for you," said Eric. He looked at Nell. "Start it."

Nell nodded and pressed a key at her computer station. She turned back to the screen as a video began playing. Nate was standing there, clearly in a hurry, but smiling.

"I have some news for you Deeks. Kensi wants to go home. And she's letting me in. I know this is hard for you, but she needs you to be strong. We are coming home, leaving here in about ten minutes, and I'll need you to meet us at the plane. Kensi wants you, whether she knows it or not, and I know that you want her. In fact, if I had to give advice on how to help her through this mess, it would be to put her with you Deeks. She'll heal much quicker, physically and mentally, if she's comfortable." Nate turned to look at someone behind him. "Someone wants to say something to you Deeks." He moved out of the frame and a painfully thin woman took his place. Her face was pale, her eyes sunken, but Deeks knew exactly who it was. Nothing would ever make her unrecognisable in his eyes.

"Kens..." Deeks breathed in shock.

"Deeks," came a weak voice. "I can't see you, but I know you can hear me." Kensi lifted the phone a little so they could see her properly. "Deeks, I want to come home. Please let me come home," she sobbed before handing the phone to Nate again.

"I told you, she needs your help and care Deeks. No-one else is going to be able to help her. I have to go. We'll be in LA in sixteen hours. I've sent the details to your phone so you can be there." The screen went dark and the room was quiet.

"Deeks?" Sam gently spoke. "Are you okay to do this?"

Deeks nodded. He turned to Sam and Callen. "How? How the hell can this happen?" His voice was raised and it didn't bother him. "Who the hell would hurt someone so innocent and sweet?!"


	3. Chapter 3

Deeks had gone home after getting the video, but he had been unable to rest. He had decided to go to Kensi's home and clean up. He bought groceries and restocked her kitchen. He even made sure to have lots of donuts and Twinkies ready so Kensi could eat as much as she wanted to. It had looked like she hadn't had anything to eat since before being taken. He had set up the couch with lots of soft pillows so Kensi could rest against them, and he had put a thick blanket over the back of the couch, ready to cover her with it. He also set up her bed so that it was warm and ready for her to sleep in. That had actually taken him a few hours, since her house was always so messy, and in the process, he had come across her father's sniper rifle. He had carefully cleaned it from dust and then moved it to the safe he knew she had hidden in the house so she could find it when she was ready to have it again.

After Deeks finished with her house, he had driven the twenty minutes to Kensi's mother's house to let her know that Kensi was coming home. Deeks had made sure that he had always kept Julia informed about everything that was happening with Kensi, and she had been grateful for the news. Julia had promised that she would be waiting at Kensi's home when Deeks brought her back from the airport, and he was glad that she and Kensi had found each other again.

But, even with all of the tasks Deeks had set out for himself, there was still eight hours before Kensi and Nate would be in LA. He just didn't know what to do while he waited. Eric had suggested they go for a surf, let the air clear their minds of everything that had happened, and Deeks had agreed. That wasted an hour, leaving Deeks on the sand while he tried to occupy himself. That was four hours ago. Deeks had eventually headed home to shower from the beach water and sand, had eaten something small just to settle his stomach, and gotten in the car to drive to the airport. He was going to be an hour early, but he didn't care. In fact, he wanted to be there when the plane landed so that Kensi would see him as soon as she got out of the plane.

* * *

Nate gently shook Kensi's arm to wake her. He wasn't sure how she had slept through almost the entire flight while the plane shook so much and there was so much noise, but he had also felt relieved that she was sleeping so soundly. His talks with nurses and the doctor in Afghanistan had revealed that Kensi rarely slept peacefully. Most nights, she was plagued by nightmares and would wake up screaming or crying. He had witnessed that for himself when she had woken in a fit of screams and heart wrenching sobs during one of his fruitless visits. He had wanted nothing more than to cuddle her until she felt better, but he knew not to touch her if she couldn't tell he was there. So, Kensi sleeping peacefully on the plane was a welcome shock for him, and he hated that he had to wake her now.

"Stop. If you don't, I'll get Deeks to punch you..." Kensi mumbled in her sleep.

Nate grinned. He had no doubt she would ask Deeks to do just that, and he knew Deeks would do it the moment the words were out of her mouth, maybe even before that. "Kensi, it's time to wake up. We're going to land in a few minutes."

Kensi stirred and her eyes opened slowly. "Water?" she asked.

Nate handed a bottle to her, watching her struggle to stay awake. He noticed how her hands shook as she tried to open the bottle with no success. It amazed him to see how much she tried before anger overtook her and she threw the bottle to the ground. Tears started rolling down her cheeks as Nate took the bottle from one of the Marines that had taken to Kensi almost immediately.

"Thank you Tim," said Nate with a little smile. He unscrewed the lid of the bottle and handed it over to Kensi. "Here you go."

"Thank you," whispered Kensi once she had drained almost half the bottle. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry Kensi, we all get frustrated. But, you know, it is okay to ask for help."

"I can't even open a stupid bottle. That's so annoying."

"You'll be alright. Remember, you are still healing. Your injuries are going to affect you until then."

"I know." Kensi gave the bottle back to Nate and put her head back against the plane. "I just want Deeks."

"He'll be waiting when we land, I'm sure of it."

"What if he didn't get the video?"

"He got it. Trust me, there is nothing he is going to miss when it comes to you."

"I hope you're right."

Nate smiled. "I am."

Kensi looked over and finally gave a little smile. She closed her eyes again as they landed, then was out of her seat faster than anyone had ever moved before.

* * *

Deeks walked out onto the tarmac as soon as the plane touched down. It was coming to a stop when he reached it, chocolates in one hand and a donut in the other. He watched as the back of the plane opened and several Marines jumped out, some carrying things, others empty-handed. There were several other civilians there, welcoming their loved ones home, but Deeks only had eyes for one person. He hadn't been able to tell how bad the injuries were just from the short video he had watched the day before, so he was shocked to see Kensi limping and clinging to Nate for support. Another Marine was on her other side, carrying the tiny bag Deeks had managed to pack before Nate left for Afghanistan. It was painfully obvious that Kensi was in desperate need of care, and it broke Deeks' heart even more. He felt tears spring to his eyes before he remembered that Kensi needed him to stay strong and protect her.

"Deeks?" The tiny voice sounded just like it had on the video. Deeks opened his eyes to find Kensi in front of him, no longer holding Nate.

"Kens." Deeks put the chocolate and donut into Nate's hands and wrapped Kensi in a hug that was warm and loving. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too Deeks. I want to go home."

Deeks nodded. "We can go wherever you want Princess."

"Home." Kensi let herself sink into his chest. "I want you to come home too."


	4. Chapter 4

Deeks felt his heart flutter when Kensi told him to go home with her. But it didn't last long. He quickly realised that she hadn't realised she said that. She was happy to have him with her, but only if he listened to what she wanted. That didn't bother him, he always tried to do what she wanted. What did bother him was that she was no longer cautious, which was scary. When they got to Kensi's place, they found Julia waiting in the living room. She has been crying, but she opened her arms for her daughter. Kensi let go of Deeks and wandered into her mother's arms. After a moment, she wrapped her arms around Julia and held on tightly.

"Mum," she whispered into Julia's neck.

"I'm here sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere, I promise. Whatever you need, whenever you need it, I'll do it for you," Julia told her daughter. "As, I'm sure, Marty will too."

"I want him to stay here with me."

"Did you tell him that?"

"No."

Julia looked at Deeks, who nodded that she had asked. "I think he's staying honey. He has really missed you."

"I missed him too." Kensi finally let go of her mother and looked around. "Did you clean up?"

"Marty did that for you. He restocked your kitchen too, and made sure everything is comfortable for you."

Kensi smiled her first real smile since being rescued two weeks earlier. She turned to Deeks. "Thank you."

"Any time. If you want me to, I could also bring Monty here. I know how much he loves you and how much you love him," Deeks said.

"I would like that." She had missed the mutt's soft fur and warm tongue. "Could you bring him today?" she asked shyly.

"I can bring him whenever you want me to. Is it okay if I leave now and get him?"

Kensi's smile faded. She turned back to her mother. "Are you staying?"

"Of course. I want some time to spend with my daughter," answered Julia. "Let Marty go, and we can have some mother-daughter time until he comes back."

Kensi took a deep breath to calm herself and nodded. "Okay," she said. "I really want Monty anyway."

Deeks stepped forward. "I'll be back in an hour Kens, I swear I will be." He hugged her.

"Deeks, I want to tell you something when you come back," Kensi said in a whisper.

"Anything you want to tell me, you tell me. I'll listen." Deeks gave her a kiss on her head before he left.

* * *

Julia waited until Deeks was gone before she took Kensi into the kitchen. A cake was on the table.

"You made this, didn't you?" asked Kensi.

"I did."

"Chocolate mud cake? With chocolate frosting and sprinkles?"

"Of course. We may have been apart for a very long time, but I know my little girl is still hidden inside that body of yours."

"Can I have some now?"

"You don't want to see the surprise Deeks left you in the cupboard and freezer first?"

Kensi almost said no, but her curiousity won over. She moved to the freezer and opened it, peeking inside. She opened the door further and reached in, bringing out a huge tub of choc-chip ice-cream.

"Check the cupboard too Kensi," said Julia. She grinned.

Kensi put the tub back into the freezer, not really interested in cold ice-cream right then. She opened the cupboard and almost jumped with joy. She pulled out a container of Oreo's and a box of Twinkies.

"Thank you Deeks!" she exclaimed as she put them on the kitchen table.

"Honey, would you like some dinner before dessert?"

"Oh, uh, not really. I'd rather have these." Kensi looked up to find an amused grin on Julia's face. "I suppose I should eat dinner first. Can we wait for Deeks to come back?"

"Of course we can. Maybe we can start dinner together while we wait for him? Unless you want to rest?"

"I want to stay with you. What are we making?"

Julia sighed quietly. She was worried about Kensi. "I was thinking we could make lasagna. But Deeks tells me you have a favourite take-out place around the corner. We could order from there if you want to."

"Lasagna sounds nice. I missed your cooking."

"Lasagna it is then. Let's start making it now so it's ready when Marty comes back."

* * *

Deeks opened his apartment door and was almost barrelled over by a hunk of fur.

"Hi Monty." Deeks patted the dog. "I'm going to shower and then we need to go. Mummy misses you."

Monty barked at that. He ran to the door and sat there to wait for Deeks. Five minutes later, he stood up and let Deeks put his collar on. He obediently followed to the car, wagging his tail excitedly. He barked at Deeks to hurry up, wanting to go to Kensi. Deeks grinned at the dog as he started the car and headed back to Kensi's house.

* * *

Kensi put the last of the ingredients away just as Julia pulled the lasagna from the oven. She had offered to clean up since her mother had done everything else, and was glad that she had done something. She felt useful, and it was a good feeling.

"Dinner will be ready in a minute Kensi," said Julia. "Why don't you go wash up and I'll set this out."

Kensi nodded. She disappeared into the bathroom just as the doorbell rang. Kensi ran back to the door, eager to see Deeks and Monty. She smiled when she heard the dog outside and opened the door. She threw herself into Deeks' arms at the same time as Julia came to see who was at the door.

"Hello Monty," said Julia, bending down to pat the dog's head.

Monty licked Julia's face, but his attention was on his master and his favourite woman in the world- Kensi. He barked once to get their attention, and then walked over to Kensi, sticking his little nose into Kensi's hand for a pat. Kensi obliged, patting the dog and even giving him a cuddle.

"I missed you too," she whispered to the excited dog as he licked her face, causing her to laugh.

"Monty, sit," said Deeks. He helped Kensi up so she could wash her hands and face. "Stay."

Julia smiled. She took the dog bowls from Deeks and filled them with water and food, then put them in the kitchen for Monty to be close to them while they had dinner themselves.

"Did you just make this lasagna, Julia?" asked Deeks.

"I did. Kensi helped me with it too," Julia told him, making sure that Kensi heard the happiness in her voice.

"It looks and smells wonderful."

"It's got a great taste too," said Kensi quietly, unsure if she was interrupting them or not.

"Really?" Deeks asked.

"Yeah, really. You need to try it."

"Maybe I will," said Deeks with a fake air of importance. He grinned at his silliness. "Should I eat first then?"

Kensi pretended to think about it. "Uh... No. Don't you know the saying, ladies first? Mum and I are first," she told him defiantly, but playfully. She felt comfortable around Deeks, and even felt a little like her old self.

"Okay..." Deeks pretended to sigh. "I can wait."

Kensi laughed again, a sound that was music to everyone's ears.


	5. Chapter 5

After dinner was over, Julia left Kensi with Deeks while she went to make up the spare bed for herself. Deeks had already claimed the couch and set it up for himself. She also knew that Kensi wanted to talk to him, alone.

"Yell if you need me," said Julia to her daughter before leaving the room.

Kensi nodded, then returned her attention to Monty, who was sitting comfortably on her lap, occasionally licking her hand. She had her right hand buried in his fur. She had chosen to sit with Deeks on the couch, but her mind was elsewhere. She was busy thinking about what she wanted to tell Deeks.

"Kensi? Is something wrong?" Deeks asked her gently.

Kensi shook her head. "I'm just thinking."

"About?"

Kensi smiled a little. "Sticky nose."

"Sorry, I want to look after you," he said sarcastically, earning a giggle.

"I was just thinking about us," she whispered to him.

"What about us? Is this what you wanted to tell me earlier?"

"Some of it."

"I'm listening."

Kensi hesitated, unsure of how Deeks felt towards her.

"You can tell me anything Kensi."

Kensi hesitated again. "I... I love you."

Deeks looked at her in shock. He loved her, but was unsure of how much Kensi actually meant by that statement.

"You don't believe me, do you?" she said sadly.

Deeks didn't answer right away. He believed her, of course, but was shocked and worried that she had freely admitted her feelings after so long. "Kens, what did you just say?"

"I told you I love you. Don't you love me? I thought you did."

Deeks softly smiled. "Of course I do. I've loved you from the moment I met you. But Kens, you would never, ever admit your feelings if I didn't say anything first. What's changed?"

"I had a lot of time to think." Kensi looked away, busying herself with playing with Monty. "I only got through because of you."

"Me?"

"Yeah. I just kept thinking about you and how much I wanted to see you again."

Deeks put an arm around Kensi. "I couldn't stop thinking about you. About where you were, what was happening to you. I wanted to go to Afghanistan and search the entire country until I found you."

"Why didn't anyone come?"

"Hetty wouldn't let Callen, Sam and I. Granger did fly back to search for you, but he came up empty. He even tried getting answers from Sabatino, and that didn't work. The team you were with over there looked and looked but found nothing either. Hetty decided that it was pretty much a lost cause, even though everyone wanted to kill her for leaving you behind."

Kensi's eyes watered at that. She had always thought Hetty cared about her.

"I'm so sorry Kens."

"Not your fault." She shook her head and dried her eyes, then leaned against Deeks, wanting to be as close to him as possible.

"I'm still sorry." Deeks held her, rubbing her back carefully to keep her calm until Julia returned.

"Is everything okay?" she asked Deeks.

"It is now. I think she's ready to sleep. Her eyes keep closing."

Julia nodded. She kissed her daughter's head and then watched as Deeks carefully lifted the exhausted Kensi into his arms and carried her to her room.

* * *

The next morning, Kensi awoke to the smell of cooking bacon and eggs. She let herself lay in bed for a moment longer, then slowly climbed out, following the smell to the kitchen. She found Julia and Deeks at the table, quietly chatting while the food cooked, so she walked up slowly behind Deeks, grinning until she threw her arms around his neck to cuddle him. Deeks laughed. He held her arms and kissed them, tickling her. Then he let her go and turned in his seat while Julia went to the stove.

"Perfect timing Kens. How was your sleep?" he asked.

She had slept peacefully actually, curled into Deeks all night long. She had refused to let him leave her in bed alone. "I slept well, but it could have been better," she said playfully.

"Oh, and how's that?"

"Next time, don't make me force you to stay," she giggled.

Deeks smirked but laughed happily. He loved to see Kensi smile and loved hearing her laugh. It made everything seem right in the world, even just for a little while.

"Kensi, are you hungry sweetie?" asked Julia once Kensi had quieted.

"Yes. I'll make something."

"Don't worry, we've made plenty for everyone to eat. Sit down."

Kensi thanked Julia and took a seat between her and Deeks. She was still smiling and felt more like herself than she had in a very long time.

* * *

Breakfast was finished quickly, so Kensi offered to do the dishes.

"Absolutely not!" Julia exclaimed. "Baby girl, you need to be resting. I'm doing the dishes before I go in to work."

"You're leaving?" Kensi asked, her enthusiastic and happy nature gone.

"No, I'm not leaving. I'm just going in for a meeting this morning. I'll be back after lunch."

"Don't go..."

Julia felt her worry increase as she gathered her daughter into her arms. "You are going to be just fine without me. While I'm gone, you and Marty are going to the beach for a while. He wants to teach you how to surf."

"You'll be back though?"

"I will. Don't you worry about that."

Kensi finally smiled. "Okay. I love you mum."

"I love you too baby girl."


	6. Chapter 6

Kensi found herself feeling better than she had so far. She and Deeks were sitting on the beach, soaking up some of the Spring sun as they quietly watched the waves lapping gently on the shore. Kensi had been a little reluctant to let her mother go that morning, but knowing that Deeks was still at her side had made things a little easier on her, and, with some careful coaxing, she had finally agreed to leave her house with Deeks to go surfing. She wasn't really interested in surfing, but spending time with the man of her dreams was quite tempting...

"What are you thinking about, Kens?" asked Deeks, startling Kensi.

Kensi smiled after a second. She looked at Deeks and said, "I was thinking about you, actually."

"Me?"

"Yeah. About how sexy you are," she giggled. "And about how much I love you."

Deeks smiled. "I love you, too, Kensi."

"I'm sorry I've been a pain yesterday and today."

"You haven't been a pain. You've been through hell. Don't apologise for that, it's not your fault."

"I'm relying too much on you and on my mum."

"Which is exactly what you're meant to do right now, Kensi. If you're going to heal and get through this, you'll need all the love and care in the world. Please don't feel like you're burdening us, because you aren't."

"You're sure about this?"

"Very."

"What about my mother? You can't read her mind..."

"Julia loves you, Kensi. She got her daughter back, only to lose her again a few months later. She's spent the past two years worrying about you and trying to persuade Hetty to do something to help you. Trust me, now that you're home again, Julia isn't going to let anything or anyone take you away again."

"Why didn't Hetty care?" Kensi finally whispered.

Deeks shrugged. "I don't know. She's changed since you last saw her. Called kept trying to find out what you were sent to Afghanistan to do, and she wouldn't tell him anything. That's sort of when her attitude changed. Granger spoke to Vance, they agreed that something wasn't right and Vance said he was going to start looking into Hetty. Honestly, with everything she's ever done and everyone she's made enemies with, there's a lot to go through. It's going to take longer than just two years to find enough information."

"What if I talk to her? Do you think she would admit that she sent me there because of Jack?"

"Maybe... We should talk to Granger about it first, though. He cares about you, too, and I think he would want to make sure that you stay safe, both physically and mentally."

Kensi nodded. She understood where Deeks was coming from. "Can we talk to him now? He'd be at work, right? I wouldn't mind seeing everyone."

"Are you sure you want to do that? Called and Sam miss you, but they understand that it's going to take time for you to return to work."

"I don't want to work, just to see them. I really missed everyone."

Deeks smiled. "They missed you, too. I'll call Granger and see what I can organise." He kissed her head and then stood up to find somewhere quiet where he could hear Granger.

* * *

"Deeks?" asked Granger after answering his phone. "You're supposed to be on leave while Kensi is recovering. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. I took Kensi to the beach to try and help her feel better."

"Is it working?"

"Sort of. She's calmer here than she is cooped up at home."

"That's good."

"Definitely. She feels like she's burdening us though, which is ridiculous."

"Not to her, it isn't."

"I know... Actually, I called because Kensi wants to come in and see everyone."

"She does?"

"Yeah, it surprised me as well."

"Bring her. We all want to spend time with her."

"There's something else she wants..."

"What?"

"Kensi wants to confront Hetty... I don't know that it's a good idea, but I understand why she wants to do it. I wasn't sure if I should tell her not to."

Granger hesitated. He agreed that it wasn't a good idea, especially just a couple of days after Nate had managed to get her to realise that she was safe, but he couldn't deny her the chance to get answers, especially since nobody else had managed it. "Okay. Bring Kensi in, I'll talk to her first, and then she can try and get answers. I'll have Nate on hand just in case she needs him."

"Thanks, Granger."

"That's alright." Granger said goodbye, closed his phone, and placed it back in his jacket pocket. He sighed, worried now that Kensi would be hurt again.

"Granger, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Callen," he answered, having not noticed the team leader was standing next to him. "Kensi's coming in for a while. She misses everyone and wants to see you all."

"That's great," smiled Callen. "It's unexpected at this time, but it's great nonetheless. When is she coming?"

"Soon, I'm guessing. Deeks said they were at the beach, so she might come from there."

"Well, we're only looking over cold cases today, so Kensi will be a welcome distraction."


	7. Chapter 7

Kensi smiled softly when Deeks returned to her. He was smiling at her.

"Granger said you go visit if you really want to. He wants to talk to you before you speak to Hetty though." Deeks helped her up. "Are you still interested?"

"Yes. I want to see the guys." Kensi frowned for a second. "Did Hetty replace me?"

"No. Granger and Vance wouldn't allow her. They just gave us an agent until we decided what we wanted. Since we wanted you, they were all going to be temporary agents."

That got Kensi laughing. She giggled for a few minutes, then finally managed to stop- mostly due to the kiss Deeks planted on her lips.

"We should go," said Deeks, "the guys will know you're coming by now, and they'll want to see you as soon as they possibly can."

Kensi nodded in agreement and followed Deeks back to his car.

* * *

Kensi felt oddly calm as she and Deeks walked up to the entrance of NCIS. She had been worried in the car, but now she felt like it was a normal morning. She was excited to see her friends again. During her captivity, Kensi had thought of the people she loved- it had been the only way she knew to keep herself going. Seeing them now would just prove that everything was back to what she knew and trusted. She thought that if she could get things back to the way she wanted, she would be able to start healing properly.

"Kensi? Are you okay?" asked Deeks, breaking through her thoughts.

"I'm fine. I was just thinking about how much I missed everyone," answered Kensi with a smile. "Come on, I'll be that Granger has already told everyone we're coming."

Deeks laughed. "He most likely has told them. Which means that they'll all be waiting with open arms." He opened the door for her. "After you."

With a quick thank you for opening the door, Kensi stepped through and stopped just inside the hall. Looking around, she felt memories rushing back from the day she had left LA, bound for Afghanistan. Anger reared up inside her stomach as she remembered that Hetty hadn't let her say goodbye to anyone that wasn't standing right next to her- meaning she had only said goodbye to Callen and Sam. She remembered how hurt she knew Deeks and her mother would have been by her not saying goodbye, but remembered feeling that at least they would understand. She knew that Callen and Sam would probably have chewed Hetty out for the cruel way she had handled things, although she wasn't sure that it was going to be a good thing for them. She could remember feeling alone as she left the building with Granger, already missing her friends and her mother. She remembered Granger trying to talk to her, but she had been rude, feeling as though he was also to blame. She knew she needed to make up for how she had treated him in Afghanistan.

"Ready?" Deeks asked her.

"Yes," said Kensi.

Deeks took her hand and Kensi followed him down the hall to where their desks stood. She looked around here, as well, smiling when she spotted Eric and Nell talking near the printer, clearly discussing something private. She thought of interrupting them, but then she saw Callen at his desk, smiling happily. She smiled too, and made her way over to stand in front of him.

"Hi," she said shyly, suddenly realising just how much time had passed.

Callen didn't speak, but he stood up and pulled Kensi into a hug that was broken up just a minute later by Sam.

"Welcome home, Kensi," he said as he pulled Kensi into a bear hug that made her feel so much safer. "We've missed you."

"I missed all of you, too," whispered Kensi into Sam's shoulder. "I was so scared that I wouldn't see anyone again."

"That was never going to happen."

"You are still a really bad liar, Sam," laughed Kensi.

"No, I am not a bad liar." Sam grinned. "I just love to tease people."

"You are such a liar," said Callen, "Kensi's right." He looked at Kensi. "However, Sam is also right, Kens. We would never have given up on you. Somehow, we would have found you."

"Who did find you?" asked Sam.

"Marines. I don't know who they are. Nate promised to find out for me." Kensi looked around. "Where is Nate?"

"On his way back from getting lunch for everyone," said Granger. He was standing behind Sam. "It's good to see you again, Kensi."

"I'm really sorry for how I treated you over there," blurted Kensi. "I was angry, and it wasn't your fault, but I took it out on you. I'm so sorry."

"You don't need to apologise, Kensi," said Granger with a smile. "I wasn't the nicest person either. Both of us were at fault there."

Kensi smiled. "Thank you," she said. She hesitated for a second. "Where is she?"

"In her office, on a conference call. She should be finished soon."

"Don't talk me out of this."

"I won't. You know how I feel, and how Deeks feels. This is up to you."

"Good, because I'm doing it... after I see Nell and Eric."

Everyone laughed. "Typical Kensi," said Callen fondly. "Always has to do things her way."

"Yes, I do." Kensi grinned. She felt more comfortable now. "Should I go interrupt their conversation?"

Sam looked over at the two Ops techs. "They look like they'll be there for hours if someone doesn't interrupt. And, I find it hard to believe that they'll be upset or angry if it's you that interrupts."

Kensi giggled. "I'll be right back," she said, and she moved away from the desks.


	8. Chapter 8

"You two really can talk a lot," said Kensi as she reached her two friends.

"Kensi!" squeaked Nell as she hugged her best friend as tightly as she could.

"Welcome home," said Eric in a more sedate tone as he pried Nell off and hugged Kensi himself. "Are you feeling okay? Do you need anything?"

"I'm fine," said Kensi, though she was very touched that everyone still cared about her. "Thank you."

"We, uh... Nell and I... we have something to tell you. I doubt that Nate said anything, or Deeks for that matter."

"Tell me what, Eric?" asked Kensi curiously.

"Nell and I... we..."

Nell laughed and shook her head. "Eric and I have started dating," she told Kensi.

A huge smile lit up Kensi's face. "It's about time!" she exclaimed. "Congratulations! How long have you been together?"

"A month. When Nate said that you had been found, but that you were most likely not going to be yourself, we sort of just decided that we should go for it. I mean, look what happened to you. That could have been any one of us. Life is short, we need to live while we can."

"We certainly do." Kensi glanced over her shoulder at Deeks and smiled. "I know exactly what you mean. I think I need to do something. Excuse me."

Kensi waved goodbye to her two friends and made her way back to Deeks. She whispered something into his ear and then smiled when he nodded his agreement.

"Kens? What's going on?" asked Callen.

"Eric and Nell gave me an idea," said Kensi, "and it made me think about something." She glanced at Deeks, who nodded, and continued, "Deeks and I have been in love for a while now. Since before Hetty sent me overseas. We thought that it was time to say something, to let you guys know, but we weren't really sure about it. We are now. Deeks and I have agreed that we are going to be open about our relationship, and we are going to try dating."

"Good," said Sam with a grin. "We already knew the two of you had feelings for each other, it's time you were honest about it."

"You knew?" Deeks asked.

"The two of you were so obvious."

"We were?" Kensi asked, shocked.

"Definitely. We just didn't mind. It's good to see the two of you happy," said Callen.

"Thank you," said Kensi distractedly as she looked over to where Sam was standing. "Excuse me for a moment, please."

The team followed Kensi with their eyes as she walked away. None of them were surprised to see where Kensi was heading, but they were worried about what would happen to Kensi once she started talking to Hetty. There was no way to tell what Hetty would say or do when Kensi confronted her.

* * *

"I want a word with you," said Kensi firmly. She had no intention of letting Hetty worm her way out of the conversation.

"It's good to see you, Miss Blye," said Hetty sweetly.

"Cut the crap, Hetty. I know that you stopped the team from searching for me. I know that Granger has been doing all the searching alone. I know that you couldn't have cared less if I had died over in Afghanistan, all alone. I don't want to hear any lies. I want to know what I did to you for you to send me all the way around the world, to a country I don't know, and why you left me for dead. Don't bother telling me there was nothing you could do, either, because we both know that you have a lot of influence when you want to." Kensi could hear the anger in her voice, but she didn't care. She wasn't interested in being nice.

"I never wanted you to be taken captive, Kensi."

"But you didn't do anything to help. You couldn't have cared that much."

"I sent you... I sent you over there because I didn't want you to work on the team. You and Mr Deeks were too close, Mr Hanna and Mr Callen were doing more protecting of you then they were doing their jobs. I needed to remove the problem, and Afghanistan came up at the perfect time."

"Problem? You think I'm a problem?!" shouted Kensi, her anger and hurt boiling over.

"You are more than a problem, Miss Blye," replied Hetty as she stood up, "you are a liability. I knew that you would get this team in trouble one day, but I hired you in the hopes of stamping out any headstrong tendencies you had. It didn't work, so I needed a new solution..."

Kensi gasped. "You told Sabatino to leave me in the desert, didn't you?" Tears were prickling at the corners of Kensi's eyes. "You told him not to come after me if anything happened. You wanted me to be kidnapped and killed!"

"So what if I did? It was a means to an end, even if it wasn't the way I was hoping for."

* * *

Deeks could hear Kensi yelling, but he refused to go to her. She had told him to let her handle the conversation, and he had intended to do just that, but the moment that he heard the pain in her voice, Deeks was on his feet and rushing past his friends.

"Deeks, give her some time," tried Callen, but he felt like killing Hetty for upsetting Kensi anyway.

"She's hurt! That bitch hurt her!" exclaimed Deeks as he brushed past Granger, who was also rushing to defend Kensi. "Kens, what happened? What did she say?"


	9. Chapter 9

"What did she say?"

Kensi felt the tears rolling down her cheeks as she heard Deeks' voice in her ear. She wasn't sure why, but the moment that Deeks put his hand on her shoulder, Kensi let herself collapse into him.

"She left me there on purpose. She just said that sending me to Afghanistan was a means to an end," Kensi cried, not realising that Granger was also there and fuming.

"You tried to have Kensi killed?" Granger asked angrily. "That's why Sabatino didn't talk to me. He knew what you were doing, and he was scared of talking. Guess what?"

"What do you think you're going to do to me, Owen?" Hetty asked loftily.

"I'm sending you to prison for attempted murder," said Deeks before Granger could answer.

"Where's your proof?"

Deeks looked over at Granger, but it was Kensi that answered.

"Right here," she said quietly, holding up a small tape. "I taped our conversation so I could reflect on it when I wasn't angry. I never expected you to admit that you tried to have me killed, Hetty. But, you admitted it, and it's on tape. I'm handing it over to the LAPD and to Director Vance."

"Kens, let me deal with her," said Deeks.

"No, this is something that I need to let the police handle, Marty. It's something that will get you into trouble if you put yourself in the middle of it. Thank you for being kind and caring, but I need to do this my way." Kensi turned to Granger. "Do you think you can contact Vance for me, Granger?"

"Of course I can, Kensi." Granger smiled and gave her hand a squeeze. "I know this isn't easy, I'm proud of you for doing this."

"Thank you."

* * *

Granger was livid. He couldn't understand why Hetty was so rude towards Kensi. He had always known that powerful women like Kensi made Hetty feel threatened, but that was no reason for Hetty to want Kensi dead.

"Granger, I'm busy. What do you want?" Vance asked a moment later.

Granger understood that his boss was busy all day, but he needed to make this phone call. He gripped his cell phone in his hand to stop himself from getting angry with the wrong person. "Director Vance, I'm going to need you to video conference with one of my agents down here. She has evidence for you of attempted murder on her, and the culprit is her boss. Trust me, you need to hear this evidence and you need to deal with this before the LAPD do."

"Which agent?"

"Blye."

"She returned to work? Didn't she just get back from Afghanistan?"

"She's not working, just visiting. She wanted answers, but I doubt this was the answer she was looking for."

"You said her boss was the one to admit wanting her dead?"

"That's correct."

"Henrietta Lange is her boss."

"She is," said Granger bitterly.

There was a pause on Vance's end for a couple of minutes, and Granger was beginning to think that his boss had hung up on him. He was about to hang up and call back when Vance said,

"I'll have some free time at two thirty. Put her on in your ops centre so I can speak to her, Granger."

"Okay. Just be gentle with her, Kensi is still quite unlike herself and quite fragile mentally. I'll be sending in Nate Getz with her."

"Isn't he FBI now?"

"Yes, but they've loaned him to us to help Kensi readjust. He's done pretty well so far- she's at least talking to people and has left her house today."

"Fine, he can be there. Just make sure she has everything she wants to give to me with her."

"I will. Thank you, Director Vance." Granger closed his cell phone and shoved it into his pocket as he stepped back into the building.

* * *

Kensi was curled up with Deeks when Granger found her in the quiet gym. She looked like she was asleep.

"Deeks?" Granger asked softly so that he wouldn't wake Kensi.

"Did you get through to Vance?" Kensi asked before Deeks answered.

"I did, Kensi. He agreed to talk to you at two thirty."

"Does he believe me?"

"I think he thinks that you believe it to be true, but he thinks you must be overreacting. He just needs to have some proof."

"I have plenty of proof." Kensi looked at Deeks. "Can we go home after I talk to him?"

"We can go whenever you want to, Kens," Deeks answered.

"Thank you." She closed her eyes and rested on Deeks' shoulder again. "I want this over."

"Let's deal with that witch first, then this will be over. I promise."

* * *

Two thirty came quickly. Kensi was clutching her little tape with Hetty's confession on it when Nate stepped into ops with her.

"How are you feeling, Kensi?" Nate asked softly. He could easily tell that his friend was nervous.

"I'm okay. I want to go home," said Kensi.

"Understandable. You know where you are, right?"

"Ops." Kensi shook her head. "I mean that I want to go to my house."

"Okay." He paused. "This is the right thing to do."

"I know that..."

"Why are you hesitating?"

"She used to be my friend, Nate."

"Maybe so, but she still did the wrong thing. You need to deal with it, even if that means calling her boss."

Kensi sighed. "I guess... Are you staying?"

"I am."

"Good. I could use the support." Kensi took a deep breath just as the screen came on and Vance's face appeared.

"Kensi Blye. I must say that I really thought we'd lost you forever. How are you doing?" Vance asked, honest concern etched into the lines on his face.


End file.
